On Saturday StressMonkey found herself in a rather awkward and uncomfortable situation. She had agreed after much encouragement from her sister to finally try out a 'relaxing' massage I hate the word relaxing, it makes me so tense. She laid down on the table what's about to happen? I want off this table already! I am so tense! and the older gentleman giving the massage proceeded to ass grab. WTF? Is he supposed to do that? Is he trying to take advantage of me? Nobody warned me about this.
Of course, true to StressMonkey's good luck tendencies, the ass grabbing continued. AGAIN? Really? GET OFF! Of course, despite how IMMENSELY uncomfortable StressMonkey felt from this invasion of personal space, she wouldn't dare say anything verbally. I can't be rude even if I feel this guy is completely inappropriate and I am uncomfortable but I will continue in my own suffering over saying something to express how I truly feel.
When the agony was finally over, StressMonkey felt relieved to have survived. I can't believe what utter hell that was. StressMonkey has again learned a lesson the hard way, no more body massages like that. StressMonkey will stay with her safe craniosacral massage which is very light touch and not nearly as invasive.
Again, StressMonkey was able to use her super human ability to be massively uncomfortable infact tortured during what was supposed to be a 'relaxing' massage. In an attempt to save someone else from going through the same hell- if you are weird about a complete stranger invading your personal space then do not get a massage. And don't listen to your sister who encourages you to do it because she isn't bothered by the same :).
Monday, July 27, 2015
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Stress Monkey Goes to a Birthday Party
This past Saturday was the day of a birthday party for a child of one of Stress Monkey's husbands' friends. I'm not that comfortable around these friends.RSVPing yes to said event had already sent StressMonkey into a tailspin of anxiety. What will I talk to people about? What gift will I buy this child? I barely know him...but what I buy says volumes about me and I will be judged for said gift purchase. Therefore, I must buy the perfect gift. I decided to salvage the few last remining bits of sanity as small as they are and ask for gift advice. Despote the advice, I still wound up spending a good hoiur in Toys R Us agonizing over a gift for a 3 year old. Ah, the life and energy of StreeeMonkey.
Party day arrived and was filled with immense anxiety that had already been building for weeks since RSVPing yes for this party. Why did I say yes? StressMonkey's husband decided to throw her a curverball saying he didn't see the need to arrive at the party until 90 minutes after it started, which sent her into a hyper tailspin. Great, now, everyone was already judging me and will judge me so much more because we're late. She was relieved when they walked in and no one seemed phased that they were late. As she quickly grew uncomfortable around her peers, a rather common occurrence we have nothing to talk about she was happy when people strated going into the pool which served as a nice activity and distraction to the lull in conversation. She quickly gravitated toward the kids, her safety net, to avoid any awkward peer encounters. She found a nice balance in playing with them then drifting back to the peers for a few moments then drifting back to kids again when she inevitably felt awkward again.
Leaving was also awkward as she left at the same time as another girl who was encouraged to come back later while StressMonkey wasn't. Why wasn't I invited to come back? No one wants me around. The irony is that Stressmonkey has no desire to be close friends with this person, but yet she wants said person to want to be friends with her regardless. Yes, emotional StressMonkey land is one filled with logic. Good night kids!
Party day arrived and was filled with immense anxiety that had already been building for weeks since RSVPing yes for this party. Why did I say yes? StressMonkey's husband decided to throw her a curverball saying he didn't see the need to arrive at the party until 90 minutes after it started, which sent her into a hyper tailspin. Great, now, everyone was already judging me and will judge me so much more because we're late. She was relieved when they walked in and no one seemed phased that they were late. As she quickly grew uncomfortable around her peers, a rather common occurrence we have nothing to talk about she was happy when people strated going into the pool which served as a nice activity and distraction to the lull in conversation. She quickly gravitated toward the kids, her safety net, to avoid any awkward peer encounters. She found a nice balance in playing with them then drifting back to the peers for a few moments then drifting back to kids again when she inevitably felt awkward again.
Leaving was also awkward as she left at the same time as another girl who was encouraged to come back later while StressMonkey wasn't. Why wasn't I invited to come back? No one wants me around. The irony is that Stressmonkey has no desire to be close friends with this person, but yet she wants said person to want to be friends with her regardless. Yes, emotional StressMonkey land is one filled with logic. Good night kids!
Friday, July 17, 2015
Stress Monkey Gets Invited to Lunch
This morning Stress Monkey wakes up at her normal alarm at 8am, then hits the usual snooze until 815am. She's feeling tired, as always, and annoyed that she has to go to work. This being an adult thing sucks.
She makes it to work to be greeted by her Director, a man who graces the office with his presence every once in a millenial and prides himself on making his peons immensely uncomfortable during the five minutes he spares to interact with him. He says to Stress Monkey "I'd like for you to join me at lunch around noon." I'm in trouble. He's going to tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do better. Stress monkey felt a small glimpse of relief after she overheard him inviting a colleague to the same lunch and mentioning that visitors will also be attending. Okay I'm not in trouble.
The relief quickly subsided when Stress Monkey realized SHE STILL HAS TO GO TO THIS LUNCH. My stomach's upset. Why am I going to this lunch when I have nothing to talk about with these people? I am already so tired and anxious. I don't feel good! Maybe I can get out of this some how?
Stress monkey finds herself in a very common scenario- where she feels pressured to do something she really does not want to do, in order to maintain a normal appearance to the outside world.
She makes it to work to be greeted by her Director, a man who graces the office with his presence every once in a millenial and prides himself on making his peons immensely uncomfortable during the five minutes he spares to interact with him. He says to Stress Monkey "I'd like for you to join me at lunch around noon." I'm in trouble. He's going to tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do better. Stress monkey felt a small glimpse of relief after she overheard him inviting a colleague to the same lunch and mentioning that visitors will also be attending. Okay I'm not in trouble.
The relief quickly subsided when Stress Monkey realized SHE STILL HAS TO GO TO THIS LUNCH. My stomach's upset. Why am I going to this lunch when I have nothing to talk about with these people? I am already so tired and anxious. I don't feel good! Maybe I can get out of this some how?
Stress monkey finds herself in a very common scenario- where she feels pressured to do something she really does not want to do, in order to maintain a normal appearance to the outside world.
Welcome (and Understanding Stress Monkey)
Last night I was trying to think of a way to incorporate my sense of humor and love for writing as a healthy way of coping with my ongoing anxiety. My husband and I sometimes joke about being a "stress monkey" and so I thought I would create a character based on this concept. This character is me and describes the ongoing thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis.
To help you understand how this blog works- italics will indicate anytime that I stress monkey, am ly immersed in my own state of anxious thought. You'll see them quite often. You'll probably judge me.
My goal here is to help make myself laugh, help make others laugh, and raise awareness of anxiety in the process. Laughter is the best medicine, and it's FREE. Enjoy! I hope I make you laugh.
To help you understand how this blog works- italics will indicate anytime that I stress monkey, am ly immersed in my own state of anxious thought. You'll see them quite often. You'll probably judge me.
My goal here is to help make myself laugh, help make others laugh, and raise awareness of anxiety in the process. Laughter is the best medicine, and it's FREE. Enjoy! I hope I make you laugh.
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